Discover the antidote to perfectionism
'Perfectionism is a dream killer, because it's just fear disguised as you trying to do your best.'
Mastin Kipp
What difference would it make if you cut yourself some slack?
What if you gave yourself a break from this troublesome thing called perfectionism that gets in your way and keeps you stuck?
I wonder how much more mental space and clarity might be available, to do the things you really want, if you were able to tame your inner critic? That voice of the oppressor - the unrelenting and often unkind part of yourself that dictates unhelpful standards.
If we accept that perfect doesn't exist and that perfectionistic ideals are our brains way of trying to protect us from past hurt, we can choose to remove perfectionism as a barrier to forward movement. Brene Brown says that perfectionism is the belief that if we do things perfectly and look perfect. We can minimise or avoid the pain of blame, judgement and shame.
Knowing when this is happening, is an opportunity to manage this overbearing internal boss and show them some alternative possibilities. I love how Dr Rebecca Ray likens perfectionism to the monster in your wardrobe when you’re a little kid. Reminding us it will be there for as long as you let it be there and as long as you feed it energy.
There's no quick fix to moving beyond the grip of perfect to get unstuck but I'm hoping that this information and the resources linked , means you have access to some quality material to strengthen your position around perfectionism and build an armoury of clever responses to prevent it from holding you and what you have to offer the world back.
Perfectionism can manifest in various ways, and its expression may vary from person to person. There are many more than listed below but here are some common ways it can show up as thoughts, behaviours, and emotions:
Setting excessively high standards: Perfectionists often set unrealistic and unattainable standards for themselves, which can lead to chronic dissatisfaction because these standards are nearly impossible to meet.
Fear of failure: Perfectionists have an intense fear of making mistakes or failing at tasks. This fear can lead to procrastination, as they may avoid starting or completing tasks to avoid the possibility of failure.
All-or-nothing thinking: Perfectionists tend to see things in black-and-white terms. They either succeed perfectly or view themselves as failures, with little room for middle ground or compromise.
Overcritical self-evaluation: Perfectionists constantly judge and criticize themselves, focusing on their flaws and perceived inadequacies. They often ignore their accomplishments and positive attributes.
Relentless self-criticism: Perfectionists have a harsh inner critic that constantly berates them for perceived imperfections or mistakes. This self-criticism can be emotionally draining and damaging to self-esteem.
Procrastination: Fear of not being able to do something perfectly can lead to procrastination, as perfectionists may delay starting a task until they believe they can ensure flawless execution.
Difficulty making decisions: Perfectionists can struggle with decision-making because they are afraid of making the wrong choice. They may spend excessive time analyzing options and seeking external validation.
If we focus on done being better than perfect and good enough being acceptable we will be far freer to take risks, have a go at something and complete actions. And the best thing is we won't be left wondering............
Two of my favourite resources to help tackle the beast of perfectionism
With Dr Rebecca Ray -
with Clare Bowditch