What is avoidance costing you?
"Pain in this life is not avoidable, but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable." R. D. LaingWhen we allow avoidance to linger, we inevitably hold extra weight or a burden of some sort, that prevents us from moving through our days with a sense of ease. Often presenting itself as one of the following experiences :
unnecessary worry
over thinking
uncomfortable feelings of fear, overwhelm anger or resentment and the list goes on...
It's not uncommon for me to witness incredible shifts with people I coach who have wrangled themselves into doing the hard, and sometimes scary things that, they have been resisting.
One of the biggest consequences of engaging in avoidance and choosing to move towards pleasure rather than discomfort, is that we stop ourselves from opening up possibilities and the freedom to choose what we do next. In the scheme of things, delaying or resisting, often grows the feelings we are trying to escape.
Moving through procrastination and avoidance creates space to freely choose how to respond, as well as giving us a sense of accomplishment. Despite the outcome, taking one step forward changes the status quo and provides a new choice point. We cannot control other people or situations but we can control how we choose to respond and show up in each moment. Taking action helps to free us up.
I'm all about helping people create leverage with what they have available. Working to elicit ways others can move forward so they are no longer crippled by procrastination or stuck in unhelpful cycles.
One of my personal rules and ways of being is to remind myself to always do the hardest thing first. My philosophy is to remind myself that 5 mins of pain right now will often save me many hours of distracting thoughts and feelings in the future.
Whether that be a dreaded phone call, starting a new project or ending something etc... I practice this with the small everyday things and the big stuff too. Reminding myself that avoiding something now will only multiply into 1000 times more discomfort as it hangs around and remains unmet.
Even if I don't know what the result will be, I know the task is done AND to live successfully and achieve my goals, taking small steps is the only way forward.
When it comes down to it, if I don't push myself, I fail to live in alignment with one of my key values, freedom. I crave to be free to choose exactly how I spend my time or focus my attention.
Avoiding things casts a shadow on my life - stopping me from truly enjoying my present. Choosing to move through avoidance means I get the fun, and joy because everything is out of the way.
"Most human behaviour is nothing other than the avoidance of pain and the pursuit of pleasure." Deepak Chopra